Siblings

I am the eldest of four.

Last night we had a spur of the moment get together with 3 of us to celebrate my little sisters birthday.

The past two or even three years have brought new challenges to several of us. (Navigating the challenges of failing parents, breast cancer are two biggies that come to mind)

These pressures have drawn the four of us together in a deeper way and I can see some of that new closeness in a picture that was taken last night…

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Wanting to post this because I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything (on any of my blogs).

Between my day job, (wrapping up a $500,000 addition, and putting together the numbers on a new project,, medical trip(s), part time teaching gig(s) and the seasonal stuff that goes with a very small apple orchard, my blog posting has tapered off to a trickle. Not to mention, my writing muse has all but flown the coop. I’m sure she’ll be back, but in the mean time, I felt the urge to write. Wanted those of you that have been a regular part of my life for several years to know I am still very much in the land of the living.

Thinking about you all. DM

Deeper Diving

Photo compliments of Google

If you follow me along on my farm blog, this post is a duplicate of it. 🙂

I have realized for quite a while now, I have been self censoring myself when I blog.

Short story.

It really came into focus last New Years. We were with another couple we’ve known for years. (Early 1980’s at least.) The four of us went to see a musician on New Years eve in Manchester. We only get together with this couple (I’ll call them Ken and Diane) once every great while, so we had a lot to catch up on.

On the ride home, the conversation had turned to current events, I was really curious to see where Ken was at. He has always struck me as very grounded. He does have a wicked sense of humor, but in business and his personal life, he is so normal.

You can learn a lot when you keep your mouth shut and ask lots of questions. I realized at some point, (from my perspective) Ken had been listening to some things on line that I found incredulous. Even he admitted some of the things seemed a little far out there, but some of it he was convinced was true. The conversation left me slightly unsettled and unnerving. If Ken could get get sucked into something I felt was complete nonsense, then anyone (including myself) is vulnerable.

++++++++++++++++++++++

I enjoy interacting with each and everyone of you.

That is a fact.

I have multiple reasons for blogging.

Getting to know people I would have otherwise never have met is high on the list. My readers come from a wide variety of places. Liberal, conservative, male, female. People living in big cities, small towns , out in the sticks. Young, older. It is a fun mix. The downside to that, is I am very intentional about not rocking anybodies boat.

I have no desire to “vent.” Personally tend to skip over those type of blog posts.

I do on the other hand long to interact with some of you about topics that may be more volatile (they don’t have to be) but the way things are on the internet, in a public forum, no way am I going to go there.

So I keep my thoughts to myself. All the while wishing there was a place to ask questions without someone thinking I have a screw loose, or verbally attack me for just asking an honest question, or having a slightly different opinion that someone else.

So I am thinking about creating another blog, a private blog where it is OK to ask questions. Where I don’t have to self sensor. And if nothing else, there is a foundation of mutual respect. I’m thinking I would throw this out there to those of you who are regular readers. Let me know if you’re interested. I will be in touch and send you a link . (I will send it to the e-mail attached to your comments)

Coffee With Thomas

It has been years, since Thomas and I have taken the time to really catch up on each other’s lives. He worked for me a short time back in the early 1990’s. He’s a computer programmer by day. Engineering background. Grounded. Kind of quiet. Married. His kids are now either married or in college. Lots’ of water over the dam since we last connected, so I was looking forward to our visit. I decided to see if he could meet me for coffee @ a local coffee house yesterday morning.

Since we were going going to have an hour, maybe an hour and a half to connect, (and we both love deep conversations, ) I went armed with a couple of open ended questions. 😉 After 5 minutes of “What sort of plans do you have today?” I asked him what are his “go to” sources currently to stay informed and grounded?

Side note, both of us have friends, or relatives that have bought into things the past few years that from our vantage point are just crazy…so that was part of why I asked him what I did.

He rattled off 3 or 4 publications, most of which I am familiar with, and then referenced a quote by Russian novelist Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn from one of his sources…

Here’s that quote:

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Siberian Gulag prisoner, offers this advice to the individual who feels helpless, in words hurriedly penned the day of his arrest on Feb. 12, 1974:

“The simplest and most accessible key to our self-neglected liberation lies right here: Personal non-participation in lies. … It is the easiest thing to do for us, but the most devastating for the lies. Because when people renounce lies it simply cuts short their existence. … Let us refuse to say that which we do not think.”

What follows is a partial list of things Solzhenitsyn suggests for the honest man:

“Will not henceforth write, sign, or print in any way a single phrase which in his opinion distorts the truth.”

“Will utter such a phrase neither in private conversation nor in the presence of many people, neither on his own behalf nor at the prompting of someone else, either in the role of agitator, teacher, educator, nor in a theatrical role.”

“Will not allow himself to be dragged to a meeting where there can be expected a forced or distorted discussion of a question. Will immediately walk out of a meeting, session, lecture, performance, or film if he hears a speaker tell lies or purvey ideological nonsense or shameless propaganda” (“Live Not by Lies”).

Here’s a link to the whole article if you’re interested

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I’m sure I could write a lot more on this topic, but I’m still marinating on how Solzhenitsyns’ words relate to my day to day life.

Heck, I can’t even keep up with all of the new words that are being created the past while.

Think globally, act locally. (Heard that recently) I think it applies.

Well, time to get moving. Thanks for stopping by! DM

It’s hard to believe

I’ve been invited to be part of a panel discussion tonight at our local library , called The Making Of A Story.

It should be fun.

I’m going without any notes. Just going to speak from the heart.

The topic is on the process of getting published.

What is hard to believe for me is it has been 20 years already since the publication of my first book.

20 years!

I am pretty sure I have at least one more book that needs to be published living inside of me. Probably a compilation of my favorite blog posts.

I’m curious. (I’m asking this to any of you that may be reading this) Have you ever thought about writing a book, or getting something you’ve written into print?) I would love to interact with you just a little bit about that if so.

It isn’t as hard (nor as expensive) as you might think. Things have change enormously in the past 20 years with technology. Print on demand technology, allows you to get a proof copy in your hands (last time I checked) for less than $100.

Conversations at a wedding reception

We were at a wedding reception yesterday. Wanted to tell you about a brief conversation we had with a woman at our table.

Couple of years ago, I remodeled her attic.

Took an unfinished, dark, dingy un-insulated attic space , and turned it into something that was a nurturing and usable.

It was a fun collaboration between the two of us. She told my wife last night, one of the things she most appreciated about me was I never said to her, “You can’t do that.”

I told her this conversation reminded me of a book I’d read on the creative process. Why it is important not to let the nay-sayers in our lives squelch that creative spark she had.

I paraphrased the following from that book:

“How does the creative impulse die in us? The English teacher who wrote fiercely on the margin of your theme in blue pencil: “Trite, rewrite,” helped to kill it. Critics kill it, your family. Families are great murders of the creative impulse, particularly husbands. Older brothers sneer at younger brothers and kill it.

You have noticed how teachers, critics, parents, and other know-it-alls, when they see you have written something become at once long-nosed and finicking and go through it gingerly sniffing out the flaws. AHA! a misspelled word! as though Shakespeare could spell! As though spelling, grammar and what you learn in a book about rhetoric has anything to do with freedom and the imagination!

Yes, I hate orthodox criticism. I don’t mean great criticism, like that of Matthew Arnold and others, but the usual small niggling, fussy-mussy criticism, which thinks it can improve people by telling them when they are wrong, and results only in putting them in straitjackets of hesitancy and self-consciousness, and weazening all vision and bravery.”

The woman at our table told my wife, I was like an older brother that she never had. 🙂

++++++++++++++++++

And on a somewhat related note….I was invited to be on a panel at our local library the end of the month on how to self publish a book. There will be a spot to share about anything else we would think is helpful to any potentially budding writers. My plan is to share an excerpt from this book, and talk about the 8 year “writers block” I experienced after someone pulled that stunt on me (“fussy-mussy criticism, which thinks it can improve people by telling them when they are wrong, and results only in putting them in straitjackets of hesitancy and self-consciousness, and weazening all vision and bravery.”

++++++++++

Well, that’s what was on my mind this afternoon.

It’s a quiet drizzlily afternoon here on the farm. My creative impulse has been somewhat quiet of late. I’m OK with that. I’ll leave you with a snippet of another wedding reception we watched recently on Youtube. The bride’s sister has a Youtube channel called the Minimalist mom (of whom we have been binge watching), that’s the short version of how we wound up watching this clip. I got choked up watching them dance at the end. Just something about watching people celebrate life….

A Fresh Start

I recently read an interview of author and farmer John R. Erickson, that really spoke to me. It was a behind the scenes look at his life, and touched on a wide variety of topics. Reading it, made me want to have someone interview me like that.

I reached out to a fellow blogger (Deb) who said she was game. She sent me a list of questions back in early December. I was working on the interview again this week, when I pushed a wrong key and deleted the whole thing.

Dang.

So now, I have to start over.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For completely different reasons, I deleted my personal blog a month ago. Swore I’d never do it. Not at least without giving a heads up.

There are a handful of fellow bloggers I’ve interacted with over the years..Lilly, Dr Victo, Susannah…I’m sure there are a few more. Fellow bloggers I enjoyed bantering with, who suddenly dropped off the radar w/o warning.

Kind of ticked me off.

Made me a little sad.

Wished I could have at least said “good by.”

Well, I did the very same thing.

Deleted close to a 1000 blog posts with thousands and thousands of comments.

I was at a dark and introspective place in my head at the time.

With a WordPress blog, there are just a couple of buttons you have to push to delete it. They even ask you “Are you sure?” Would you rather set it to “private?” Because once you push the delete button, there is no getting it back. Period.

Relationships via the Internet tend to be a little tenuous by their very nature.

I realized again this week, I want a place where I can write about topics that are on my mind that don’t really lend themselves to a farm blog.